After The Rain

This morning, on a whim, I decided to say Good Morning to various friends via a Whatsapp message. While I did, I channeled the image of seeing each of them in person, and felt the warmth of such a simple morning greeting. The simple response was a return greeting. A doctor friend asked if I was well. I said I just felt like saying Good Morning. He knew I was going through a trying time on a few film projects and wished I was doing better. A chiropractor friend greeted me then added, anything? Another friend with whom we are collaborating on a project, greeted me followed by an apology that he hadn’t gotten back on an outstanding matter. I said my greeting wasn’t work related, just saying Good Morning. A friend residing in Hong Kong sent me a video of him and his son just finishing a water sport by the beach. A slice of his blessed life. Some just woke up, some said hi and needed to go back to whatever they were doing. And there were those when this simple Good Morning paved the way for an ensuing conversation, picking up where we last dropped off. Then one friend told me he had a mild stroke sometime back. I also discovered a friend’s parent passed on. On this Saturday, I see how the simplicity and sincerity of a Good Morning is a window to the diverse lives of people in our circle…

Do you believe our lives hang on a promise? Even for those who don’t believe in promises. When we go back in time, there would be a point when we believe we would wake up the next day and life would go on. That we would grow up, that we would experience life, that there was a name for each feeling we feel and we would feel every feeling, including those unnamed. The thing is, we need to believe, in order to function. I recently met someone who told me, “Before I met my life partner, I knew I would. When I met him, I felt I knew him. He was like a promise in life.” Some of us believe in promises until we don’t. Until we are let down, disappointed, hurt. And we feel this way because we believe in promises in the first place. Otherwise we would be indifferent.

Today is my birthday. As I grow older, there is the inevitable accumulation of loss. Of time, health, friends, loved ones. Yet in some ways, things get easier. The insecurities that stabbed at me through the years have lost their edge. Not because of sudden wisdom. Just the gradual process of believing. The belief that some promises do hold true. This year, the pandemic has stirred both a sense of crisis and an urge to reinvent. A friend who worked abroad, on finishing his fourteen days quarantine on his return, felt a little “strange to return to a different Singapore.” I told him, being in Singapore through these unusual months, Singapore is different, and Singapore is the same.

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